It's Too Crowded in Here

I hate that feeling... when thoughts keep rushing through your mind and you can't get them to slow down, not even a little bit. They're just zooming past. You ask them nicely to go away, but they ignore you. You're screaming at them. Trying to pry them from the walls of your brain. They must be super-glued :(

Lately I feel that way. I can't stop thinking about things that worry me and cause me sorrow. Things i probably shouldn't even worry about. My mind's to foggy to write them all out. They mostly have to do with the future and my life. I must be really self-centered. I wish i'd stop wallowing in self-pity. If i think about how much things suck, i think about how i wish they were. Then i think about how stupid i am for being jealous of other people, that i should be content with what i have. Then i think about how ungrateful i am for not being content. Then i think about how badly i wish i were in a coma.

If anyone's heard of a way to turn my mind off for a few hours, let me know, k?

I had to get up and go to my mother's large church this morning for their special christmas program. It was nice but then we had to go out to eat... Ate a really large lunch, but it was about 400 calories. As long as i don't eat the rest of the day i'll be fine with that.

I really want to go for a long walk, but it's cold and my bed is warm.. I'm going to make myself soon enough, though.

Christmas is getting ever closer. Ugh. I can't wait until it's over. I like New Years more.

Love to you all.
s'later