Britain's Got... Fugly Sopranos?

Good afty, girls and boys.

My last post was written in a rush. Here are some more factoids:

UGW: 120, at least.
Height: 5' 8"
I have brown hair that my mum won't let me dye :/
Age: 17

"The real reason to be on Twitter is to follow lesbian breakups.." lmao. watching Vh1. I am one of those befuddled by the Twitter sensation. cool for celebrities or politicians, but otherwise, who cares what you're doing every second? Just update your facebook status. Haha.
Anyway, moving on.

Let's log today's calories:

Breakfast:
Fiber Bar - 140
Cranberry juice - 5

Lunch:
Trail mix - 290

Haven't eaten anything else yet. I've been drinking my lemon juice/ cayenne mixture and it not only fills me up but even turns the stomach a little sour when i'm not used to it. It's great!
I've been sick anyway. basically just feeling like crap all day. I utterly failed a math exam today. But failures just fuel my ED and such, because i start to feel like food is completely wasted on me. That i am a useless waste of matter and space. You ever feel that way?
I'm sure you have. Though i hope you haven't.

I'm not sure what to have for dinner. My mom's been monitoring my food intake because she's a spazzoid. She's noticed i'm not eating as much. I must get better at hiding it..
Got any tips?

I may have an apple with a tablespoon of peanut butter, that's under 200 cals. I'm staying under 1,000 and preferably under 800 for the rest of the month. I'm easing my body into it so it doesnt freak out. After the new year i'll be more restrictive.

Hey, another random thought - Susan Boyle. What the hell is so appealing? She's wonderfully talented, but it just makes me think... Are we so shallow that we assume those with less fortunate appearances (aka ugly bastards) cannot possibly possess noteworthy talents? Of course they can! But the world was shocked. It's just odd.

So i have to study for more exams but i'm so tireddddd..
Later i have shows to do. Oh hey, another fact, i act! A lot. It's sort of my life.
Also, i have a wonderful boyfriend who is fabulous but who i hide ED from. He gets so concerned and i don't want him to worry any more than he has had to. you know?

I really want a smoke. But i have no way to get one. I dont even like smoking, this is weird.

I feel so fucking hopeless sometimes. Ugh.

Well on that positive note, i'll be off! haha. S'laters!