Going strong despite struggles

Ate dinner, pack of crackers, 190 cals. Hitting me for sure. Feeling te exhaustion, but it will be gone soon. A little hunger pain, mostly satisfied by cigarettes. Wanting food, not going to have it. Just need to hold out a few days until i get used to this again. Brain not really functioning, i just woke up from a nap though. Im tired from the lack of fuel, my body has to start regulating itself again. It'll get accustomed to the food intake and function well again. I need to get some work done tonight because i have nothing else to do. However, if i go to bed early, i can probably get up for 7am yoga class. That would be really nice. Ill probably miss Thursday's. Cant wait for this weekend to come. I have to go to a retreat, but it wont be so bad, im actually really looking forward to it, Trying to concentrate on my friends and sisters this week, rather than boy. I get to help with campus tours Saturday and then go to the auction. Cant wait for auction, i think it will be wildly successful! The work needs to lessen so i can handle it better.
Total food log
Breakfast- coffee, 1 piece toast with peanut butter
Lunch- coffee
Dinner- 1 pack crackers, 190 cal

Im going to stay under my total calorie count every day, because i need at least 100 cals of free space to feign eating during mealtimes. My friends and I always eat meals together and they'll definitely get suspicious if i stop going or eating entirely.
So if i project 500 cals, ill stay at 400 calculated cals and leave 100 for pretending to eat in the Caf. etc.
Im restricting hardcore so i can come back a skinny bitch after Xmas break next semester. Im going to stay here and im going to have a successful freshman year, I have goals and i will stick to them. And i will loko great doing it!
Thus, im beginning my restriction at 500 rather than the typical 1000 minus 100 every day until i reach 500. Ill do 500 for one to two weeks until i feel like dropping. Then ill keep my calorie max at 500 but aim for 300-400. Ill drop to 200 eventually and ill fast over christmas break. Im cutting out alcohol calories completely, so im going to replace my drinking with more marijuana smoking. Should work out nicely, i love smoking. just more expensive.
im avoiding liquid cals other than coffee as well. Lots of water for me!

So thats my plan. Im doing good. :)
Love you all.
xx
Anna